My first prayer session "My Father in Heaven," reminded me of his provision, by showing me how he protected me all through High School, College, the different States I had traveled to; he put people in my path that would keep me out of trouble and surround me with the word of God whether I was in church or not. It was his word that fed not only my soul and spirit, but fed my conscience. It was his word that reminded me in the night clubs that "Heaven," was where I really wanted to be. It was his word that reminded me when, "Throwing someone through a window, that "Heaven," was where I wanted to be.
What I'm trying to say is that where ever I was in my life mentally, physically, spiritually, and financially, My Father "ABBA," was there!!!!
Now let me clarify, when I was in the night clubs, when I was throwing someone threw a window, or doing something that wasn't Christlike, it wasn't because I was bad person. All of my life, I have been a target of mental and physical abuse, and as an adult I refused to be a target, so I defended myself at all cost, and sometimes my choices left a person hurt, however, I would often times find myself crying and asking for forgiveness because I never wanted to hurt anybody. I never understood why I was tried and tested by so many people. It was then that God showed me that it wasn't the people, but the spirit of those people on assignment from hell. And it was then that he revealed to me who I was in him.
I am a solider in Gods army and as a soldier I am always on the front lines, my fear can overtake me at anytime, however he constantly reminds me "To fear not for he is with me." He tells me, " To be strong and of good courage, BE NOT AFRAID, neither be thou dismayed for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest." (Joshua 1:9). This is the word and Jesus was the physical representation of Our Father's word, which is why his physical form went into the party and sat with what we call today the "clubber's." Jesus went where God's word was necessary or needed the most. Jesus was the physical representation for those on the edge of faith and yet needed just a little more evidence. As Gideon asked God to provide him with a sign that his word was true (Judges 6:36), Jesus was our sign.
Throughout my life "My Father," was there providing me with what I needed in order to step into the calling on my life. And as a human being, I made mistakes and still do, however, "Our Father," is faithful and will not leave us, he will teach us in the way that best suits our character and position. For me, I was afraid, I never wanted to fight and cause trouble, and yet trouble was finding me everywhere. Once I went through the stages of being human, I realized that the training for God's army removed, doubt, fear, and the cowardess that I walked with. And now, I am able to make wise decision's when faced with certain spiritual challenges because like Elisha and the Syrians (2 Kings 6:16) I am protected in order to reach my goal, which is to go to heaven and worship at the feet of My Father in Heaven.
